Enjoy this excerpt from my upcoming book, Authentic Life With Children
By Shakta Khalsa, Llewellyn Worldwide Publications, release date: Fall 2016
If the expression of deep peace throughout all the winds of change is your intention, you will begin to see it manifesting. One of the most deeply peaceful and steady-hearted people I know is my husband of thirty-eight years, Kartar. Without his wisdom and involvement, this book could not be complete. Also, without the valuable perspective of fathering from the yogic or soul level, we would be missing an amazing opportunity to help better raise a conscious, soul-connected child.
Because of the importance of all parental and adult roles, I wish to take this opportunity to share something with you that comes from Kartar’s loving heart and his wise perspective.
Fathering from the Soul: Kartar’s Perspective
There were three major anchor points that helped prepare me to father a child. Each one was something that would help guide me and bring me to conclusions that honored my yet-to-be-born child as an individual soul, not just a person who was part of me.
The first anchor point was the question that Yogi Bhajan asked Shakta and me: why do you want to have a child? This was an important question and one that we both weighed heavily, each coming to our own independent answers. My answer was that I wanted to father a soul who would have such peace and clarity that he or she would be of great assistance to others. My feelings about this were clear and I knew in my bones that this was what I wanted.
The second anchor point was an opportunity I received, in which Yogi Bhajan asked me to sit and meditate at his altar until he came back. During that time I noticed little figures on the altar, which to me represented prayers or intentions. I never asked him about it, I just made that assumption.
The third anchor point came a few years later and I view it as the next level of awareness based on the second point. There was a time when Shakta and I were delving into the lives of Mary and Joseph and how they parented and trained Jesus. One particular book stood out, Memoirs of Beloved Mary, by Thomas Printz. I found this book fascinating, as it detailed the training that Mary needed in order to maintain her connection to the Infinite during her son’s life. And there were also stories of Joseph; I had thought of Joseph as a carpenter, but this material filled in his life in a much richer detail. One of the things it mentioned was that it was from Joseph that Jesus learned all the skills he would need to build the organization for what he would need to accomplish. This was his father’s role and it was profoundly impactful in helping me further understand the father’s role, with the way I perceived myself fulfilling it.
Once I understood this, I knew it was what I would hold as my prayer for the life of our child. Before he was born, I purchased a small reminder of Joseph, a statue, which I placed on my altar and keep there to this day. This symbolized a deeply rooted belief that was intimately connected with my soul’s purpose; that through my presence, my words, and actions, I may be a conduit of information on how people cooperate, complement and supplement each other, and how organizations of integrity are built and thrive; and that I may share what I have learned with my son.
Once he was born, I wanted to give Ram Das the experience and exploration of the space of quiet and calmness. Several times—sometimes in answer to a question and sometimes unsolicited—Yogi Bhajan asked me to do a daily meditation with a mantra that took about an hour a day. To some, it may have seemed like a large commitment, but I wanted to do this because I found how it always brought me home when I experienced some disturbance at the soul level. Once home, the answer, which was (and is) often something I wasn’t anticipating, would come.
When he was still very young, I would gather up Ram Das in his backpack and we’d go out for a walking meditation. I held the intention to let him be absorbed in the vibration of the mantra I was chanting and the peace and calm that it was establishing in my brain waves. Occasionally I would arrive home from work and find he was out of sorts. My favorite thing to do was just to scoop him up to go for one of our “walks.” I thought of it as resetting the energy, and it worked that way. This is an awareness that he can still relate with today, and though it may not take the same form of yoga and meditation, I know he has his own ways of regaining balance and resetting his energy that works for him.
In addition to the private walks I did with Ram Das, Shakta and I did hour-long walking meditations for many years. He was along in the backpack for hundreds of these. Sometimes there was talking, but many times we just used sound and the vibration of chanting to establish patterns of deep peace.
This is the place that is now “home” for Ram Das. I may not ever know the role that these walks played in establishing a connected place for him, but he does know of its existence and honors it. I see this as an observer, noticing his even-keeled approach to important conversations and actions, and the way he can easily see the big picture in a situation.
On the opposite side of “quiet and calming alertness” is meaningful conversation. An important aspect of my relationship with Ram Das included talking with him from a soul level. I did this before he was born and continued on through his stages of growth in life. I wanted to share with him the way life worked, as I understood it.
There was one particularly memorable time. This was during the winter and I was on duty, because he was learning not to nurse in the middle of the night. It was cold but we were well bundled as we walked in the magical stillness of the nighttime air. He started out crying and I would patiently wait. Between his cries I spoke to him through my thoughts and actions, never saying a word out loud, and creating a soul to soul connection to the level of cellular intelligence.
I explained to him it was natural to be upset when something he “thought he needed for well being” was no longer being provided; that this was something he would see in many other forms throughout his life. He would be learning the discipline of knowing that all was well as it was, and to let go of what he thought he needed. I acknowledged his confusion and fear, and in turn, he learned to understand.
Through my own awareness and acknowledgement of Ram Das as his own individual, the calming presence I maintained, and conversations that were emitted soul to soul, I found the cornerstones of fathering that came to me naturally, as they were a part of my soul. I am so thankful that I was able to slow down enough to listen to the subtle guidance of the universe. Anytime I need to, I can still call on this to stabilize the father’s prayer within me.
 Memoirs of Beloved Mary Mother of Jesus (Heretofore Unchronicled) by Thomas Printz. 1986. Out of print.