Radiant Child Yoga student:  The 3-5 year olds that I teach love the ocean/seagull relaxation from Fly Like A Butterfly.  I have been going around and taking the imagined birdseed from their hands when they are quiet.  But I am beginning to think it is time to change this.  I’ve been using it fairly consistently since the beginning of the year, and they are now giggling and laughing when I take the “birdseed” from their hands. What suggestions do you have for this?

Shakta:  Children should have joy–that is number one in importance. So if they giggle and it is not out of control, that is all fine, no harm done, and perhaps they needed that laugh more than you know. 

There is a bigger question here that is good to ask ourselves:  What is our point in yoga, especially in children’s yoga?  It is to have them execute poses well? Learn how to behave better for the sake of the adults around them?  Or is the first and foremost purpose to find joy within themselves and act from that place of connection?

Here is an idea to make this scenario into a conscious interaction with them:  When you take the birdseed from their hands, see yourself connecting just for that moment with just that child.  Feel an appreciation–a blessing- going from you to that child.  Do it as an experiment.  I bet that you will find that it changes the feeling space between you and it will carry over into that child’s relationship with you ever after.  And that, my friend, is yoga!

A guided meditation from a new book I am writing about Parenting a Radiant Child.  If you like, you can slowly speak the words into a recording device (voice memo on the iPhone works great)–and listen to it as a guided meditation any time you want.

Sit in a chair with your feet flat on the floor.  Alternatively, sit cross-legged on the floor on a dense cushion or blanket.  Relax your body with the spine comfortably straight.  Close your eyes. Feel a ‘let go’ feeling, like a big whole-body sigh.  Feel your mind relaxing.  Feel a dropping down into your body. Without any effort, just notice the feeling or sensation of that movement of energy. 

Notice your breath without trying to regulate it in any way.  Feel the expansion and contraction of the chest and belly.  Begin to slow down the breath and deepen it.  Again, feel the expansion and contraction of the chest and belly.  Notice if there is mental chatter, for example, comparing the original breath with the deeper breath. Become aware of any feelings of wishing you were not thinking, or trying to stop thought, and allow it all to be as an expression of this moment.  As the wave of thought passes, turn your attention to experiencing the body during the breath. 

Feel as though you are an infant resting comfortably.  Since you don’t know concepts such as “breathing” or “expansion”, feel what the breath feels like without any concepts.  Begin to notice the sensations that arise, flow, and change within you as you breathe.  Feel as if the breath were breathing you. As though you are the experiencer of the breathing machine. As though the breath is happening on its own without any effort or attention from you.

If thoughts come up, allow the sensations of those thoughts without pushing them away or following them wherever they might lead.  If you feel resistance to any part of this process, allow yourself to expand to feel the sensations that arise in response to the resistance. Include the sensations of resistance. Expand to allow all sensations experienced in this moment. Just for right now, allow yourself to know that each moment holds a new experience, an experience purely without concept.

Stay in this awareness a few more moments.  Then gently inhale….and exhale.  Open your eyes and begin to gently move your body.  You will find that you can feel a lingering sense of your experience that you can call on in your daily life, more and more, as you practice it.

I have found a really good tool for getting myself back to center and accessing inner wisdom– by using truth-seeking questions. Here are some I use, and you will get a set of these Guidance Cards and more when you come to the course, Happily Ever Now.

Question 1: When I take away all the “shoulds”, what guidance do I follow?  

This question is first because if you are in a space of subtle awareness as you ask it, you will instantly feel your inner guidance.  As you spend more time getting to know what your guidance feels like (hint:  it always feels good), you carve a well-worn path directly to your guidance, and you don’t have to even look for it most of the time.

Question 2:  Can I see this through the eyes of Source? 

As soon as you ask yourself this, you automatically can go to the eyes of Source (or God, or Universal Guidance, or Love).  You gain the broad perspective, and the answer is then….”yes!”

Question 3:  What would I have to believe about myself in order to think this?

I use this when I notice that something triggered me into unhappiness in whatever form…frustration, anger, sadness, overwhelment.  Usually the answer that occurs to me is that I would have to believe that I am less than the powerful human being that I know myself to be; that I and only I, am in charge of my happiness or lack of it.

Question 4:  Do I want to be ‘right’ or do I want to be happy?

Whew…this is a tough one.  Yogi Bhajan used to say this and for a long time I didn’t get it.  But then I realized that he was making a subtle distinction between that ego feeling of being right, with the wholly satisfying feeling of being at peace…happy.

Question 5:  Where would I be without this story?  

I find that when I ask myself this, the answer is consistently that I would be absolutely fine.  The ‘story’ is the belief I tell myself over and over until it seems to be true, very much like the fable about the Emperor and his non-existent new clothing.  It took a child to get that story straight–going back to the simple level of inner truth is the innocent and wise child we all carry within.

Question 6:  What am I using as my excuse to come out of alignment with my inner self?

Asking this will immediately give you access to whatever it is that is the culprit.  Of course, we can bless all those inner culprits for helping us clarify what’s going on, and moving on to something better.

Question 7:  Can I be in vibrational alignment with the best in you?

This one involves other people, as most of our “problems” do!  By asking ourselves if we can, we find the place where we can.  And suddenly– if we are sincerely willing to let go of our stuff– we can  see the best side of the other person or the situation.

I’ve enjoyed this little series, and would love to hear from you….how are you bringing yourself into your Authentic Self??

Sat Nam!

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The last day I was at my self-initiated (not so silent) retreat at Springwater Center, I awoke in time to practice yoga in the dark.  Enfolded in blankets in a comfy recliner, I sat in meditation as the light began to bring on the day.  The day started with a great wind that danced the tops of the trees and feathery tassels of the tall grass.  This wind was the envoy for the imminent snowfall that, from my vantage point, was almost imperceptible at first, looking more like haze or mist. Then as the grey-white day dawned, the winter sky poured down heavy flakes of lively snow.  

Leaving my cozy spot, I bundled up and walked into the swirling scene.  I laughed as I felt exactly as though I was inside a “snow globe” and a very large hand was shaking it vigorously. Delightful!  I felt that I had to get out there and walk—to experience the wind, the rain of snow, the beauty of the fern-like trees, their delicate green cloaked in a thin layer of white.  And most of all, I had to get to my “spot”.

My spot is what I think of as the waterfall.  There is a bench and even a foot rest (how thoughtful!).  Of course I know it is not “my” spot—first of all it belongs to no one but itself, and secondly it is most likely a special spot for countless others…. friends unknown and known.

In any case, I had started coming to this spot because I felt enlivened by the rushing water—its sound and sight.  The first day I had been awed by the icicles growing around the rushing water, imagining that at some point there would be so many that the waterfall would be frozen silent.  But the next day I came, there were less icicles.  As I was pondering this, another piece broke off as the force of the water rushed over it, and it noisily crashed its way downstream until it melted completely somewhere along the way and merged with the forward press of the stream.  I loved the image of the ice building up and breaking down.  Even more appealing was the thought that as the temperature dropped and remained cold, the ice would conquer and bring the whole scene to a fantastically beautiful still life portrait–at least until early spring.

And so, brushing aside snow enough for my bottom to fit on the bench, I set myself for meditation. I have been practicing a meditation for some time now that is fairly strenuous and quite powerful in its effects. The position has the arms straight out from the shoulders, with one hand flat on top of the other, palms facing upward.  It uses what is called the “root” mantra, which describes the qualities of beingness in the Gurmuki language, derived from Sanskrit.  The driving sound of the rushing water accompanied the energy of the mantra perfectly.  This I had discovered on my first day at Springwater, and I had returned each day for the same delight.

After the meditation, and knowing it would be my last for a while at this special spot, I spontaneously put my hands together in a salute to the stream, slowly turning to honor the land all around me.  I bowed to the stream—the dynamo of energy, the beauty of the ice, to the peace of the snow, to the shelter and loveliness of the trees– the detail and bareness of the branches layered with the friendly greenness of the firs. I felt a gratitude for the existence of this place, for all amazing places of the earth, and for my own existence to be able to appreciate it all.

In this release of gratitude I remembered my teacher’s words:  “An attitude of gratitude perpetuates the flow of prosperity.” To me, prosperity means the movement of creativity into abundance—for one’s self, yes, and for everyone else. At that moment of presence I experienced a feeling in my heart.  It was as if my heart warmed up and smiled at me.  I began to sing to the trees and snow.  I sang my little children songs–songs that emerge spontaneously from the child in me.  I sang the wise and innocent songs that would someday be recorded with professional musicians instead of this one lone voice in the silence of the snow-draped forest.  But the beauty, the blessedness, of those little songs in this sacred land would stay with me, and I know that I can be in the same space while singing in a recording studio as well.

available at www.childrensyoga.com

The gratitude wrapped around the songs, knowing they would find their way into homes where children need a friend to help them remember who they are, where adults can catch the melody of innocence and remember as well.  That knowing causes my heart to smile even bigger.

Being or becoming? How can these fit together?  Do they fit or are they mutually exclusive?  There were my questions upon arriving at Springwater.  A piece of that puzzle came together for me here. There is a knowing that by purely being I know how to become. Living life as it comes, moment to moment allows my inspiration to flow, my passion to have integrity, my heart to smile.

Shakta Kaur Khalsa
Dec. 22, 2004

(More fun with ‘attitude of gratitude’ online at Shakta’s webinar, and in-person with Shakta’s Happily Ever Now courses in several cities this spring/summer.)

It dovetails nicely with the upcoming Happily Ever Now course that I’m offering online on Yoga U, and the live courses you can view on my schedule.  After decades of yoga, I  have found this work to really bring home the experience of Pratyahara–noticing where I am internally, appreciating it for the clarity it brings,  and then adjusting it to where I want to go.

This is from James Redfield’s book, The Secret of Shambhala.  Occasionally I re-read parts of this book, and The Celestine Prophecy, just as reminders.  And BTW, James, endorsed my Kundalini Yoga book–if you want to know what he said, look at the back cover!

If you are not familiar with the style of James Redfield’s books, they are spiritual teachings in the form of an engaging adventure/mystery story.  So in the part I am quoting here, the author is speaking in first person and he is interacting with a peer/mentor named Yin, who is helping him to understand synchronistic events.

“Think about what was happening ” Yin continued, “when you heard the van approaching. You had two choices: You could have thought about that occurrence as a threat or as a potential aid.  Certainly you have to consider both.  But once you recognized the van, that should had told you something.  The fact that it was the same van that we had seen earlier at the crossroads is meaningful, especially since these same people created the diversion that allowed us to go by without being seen.  From that point of view, they had already helped you and now were there to possibly help you again.”

I nodded.  he was right. Clearly I had blown it.

Yin looked away, distracted by his own thoughts, then said, “You completely lost your energy and positive expectation.  Remember what I told you at the restaurant?  Setting a field for synchronicity is a matter of putting yourself in a particular state of mind.  It is easy to think about synchronic intellectually, but unless you enter the state of mind where your prayer-field will help, all you will do is glimpse the coincidences every once in a while.  In some situations that is enough and you will be led forward for a time, but eventually you will lose your direction.  The only way to establish a constant flow of synchronicity is to stay in a state where your prayer field keeps this flow moving toward you–a state of conscious alertness.”

“I’m still not sure how to get into this state of mind.”

“One must stop and remind oneself to assume an attitude of alertness every moment.  One must visualize that one’s energy is gong out and bringing just the right hunches to you, the right events.  You have to expect them to occur at any moment.  We set our fields to bring us synchronicity by being ever vigilant, always expecting the next encounter.  Every time you forget to keep yourself in this state of expectation, you met catch yourself and remember.”

“The more you stay in this state of mind,the more the synchronicity will increase. And, eventually, if you keep your energy high, this posture of conscious alertness will become your prevailing attitude toward life.  The legends say the prayer extensions will eventually be second nature to us.  We will set them in the morning as routinely as getting dressed.  That is the place you much reach, the state of mind where you have this expectation constantly.

He paused and looked at me for a moment.

“When you heard the vehicle coming toward you, you immediately went into fear.  From the sounds of it, they were intuiting that they should stop at the mounds, although they probably had no idea why.  But when you went into fear, thinking that they were possibly the bad guys, your field actually went out and had an effect on them, entering their fields and probably making them feel something was amiss, that they were doing something wrong, so they took off.”

What he was telling me was fantastic, but it felt true to me.

(To read more, see The Celestine Prophecy and The Secret of Shambhala)

One of the best ways to get yourself in the flow is to make an internal switch when you feel the worry about money coming on.  My teacher, Yogi Bhajan, used to say “worrying is praying for something you don’t want.”  And what he meant by that is this:  Bless the thoughts and feelings that feel like worry and concern–because they are clarifying and bringing to your attention what you don’t want.  Then “pivot”–this means you say to yourself, “I know what I don’t want, thank you very much–now let me turn my attention to what I DO want. I want to know that the Universe is taking care of me, and bringing all good things—prosperity, love, enlightenment–to me.”

Then act as if that is true and it will put you in the flow so it will be true.

In yoga there is a name for this ability to watch where your mind is going, and then bring it back to where you want it to go—it is called Pratyahara, and it is one of the eight limbs of Yoga.

This piece of How Life Works 101 is also one a taste of a course I teach called Happily Ever Now, an online webinar, as well as an in-person course on my schedule.  And…You got it for free!  See—your prosperity is already working!

“When Nick was a baby and we found out he had Autism, I was very scared that it would be so hard, and sometimes it was.  He didn’t have language for many years, then finally he began talking.  But being with him is so special, the way he looks at life is so interesting.  It’s funny but at some point I realized that if I had a choice about whether he would be like a regular kid, or as he is—I would definitely choose him as he is.”  Greg said this last part with the biggest smile coming straight from his heart.

He went on.  ”Nick just thinks differently, and it sometimes blows me away.  Like one time I was really stressed out, going through some hard things with my work.  Nick and his sister were in the car with me.  We were getting ready to drive somewhere and they were fussing at each other.  I told them I had a short fuse and needed them to calm down.  Nick got up in the front seat without a word, fished through my CDs and found one with no label—and put it on.  Said to me “put on track seven”.  It was Stevie Wonder singing Have a Talk with God. It was just what I needed to hear.  I lost it….just cried with emotion and happiness when he did that.  How did he know?  I don’t know.  He just is special that way, guess it is the Autism.  I don’t know.”

I so appreciated Greg letting me into his confidence and telling me this beautiful story.  In giving back, I told him something that made him smile, something he could take with him and remember when times got hard with his son.  I said, “In our Yoga for Children with Autism course we have a saying that goes like this;  Special Needs?  Maybe, but we prefer to think of them Children with Special Intentions!”

I think it made his day to hear that!

It makes perfect sense that these yearnings to drop the old and vision the new come in late December, when all the energy is winding down, and at the same time is winding up all the pieces of the year before.    This time of the year with all its mad shopping, great bargains, before and after holiday sales has slipped in under the radar inside my brain, has commercialized itself as a personal affirmation….no, call it what it is–a slogan–and that inner slogan is  “Everything Must Go”.

Everything meaning–self-recrimination and self-importance…two sides of the same coin really.  Two for the price of one…Everything must go!

Everything meaning–communication for anything other than feeling good in an authentic way, a way that translates to others so that they feel good.  Everything that feels bad…must go!

Everything meaning–the old idea that someone should do something to make me happy.  ”Jees, Shakta”, my inner self says…”You teach this stuff!  You gotta know that no one needs to do anything to make you happy.”  Everything must go–and this one is reduced by 90% for quick sale!

And finally, but most important…self-love, self-acceptance.  ”I am where I am and where I am is fine, dear sweet self, because it is where I am.  I can’t change it, but it will change, and it is all part of the path of Me.”  This one’s a keeper. Yes, I’d like it gift-wrapped, thanks!

When a thought passes, you watch it; when an interval passes, you watch it.  Clouds are beautiful; sunshine also is beautiful.  Now you are not a chooser.  Now you don’t have a fixed mind.  You don’t say, “I would like only the intervals.”   That is stupid–because once you become attached to wanting only the intervals, you have decided again against thinking.  And then those intervals will disappear.  They happen only when you are very distant, aloof.  They happen…they cannot be brought.  They happen, you cannot force them to happen.  They are spontaneous happenings.

Go on watching; let thoughts come and go–wherever they want to go–nothing is wrong!  Don’t try to manipulate and don’t try to direct.  Let thoughts move in total freedom.  And then bigger intervals will be coming. Sometimes minutes will pass and no thought will be there.  There will be no traffic–a total silence, undisturbed.

When the bigger gaps come, you will not only have clarity to see into the world–with the bigger gaps you will have a new clarity arising; you will be able to see into the inner world.  With the first gaps you will see into the world.  Trees will be more green than they look right now.  You will be surrounded by an infinite music–the music of the spheres.  You will be suddenly in the presence of God–ineffable, mysterious, touching you although you cannot grasp it, within your reach and yet beyond.  With the bigger gaps, the same will happen inside.  God will not only be outside, you will be suddenly surprised–God is inside also.  But don’t get attached to that either.

Attachment is the food for the mind to continue.  Non-attached witnessing is the way to stop it without any effort to stop it.  And when you start enjoying those blissful moments, your capacity to retain them for longer periods arises.

Finally eventually, one day, you become master.  Then when you want to think you think.  If thought is needed, you use it; if thought is not needed, you allow it to rest.  Not that mind is simply no longer there–mind is there, but you can use it or not use it.  Now it is your decision   just like legs; if you want to run, you use them.  If you don’t want to run you simply rest–legs are there.  In the same way, mind is always there.

So let me tell you a few basic things. One, meditation is not concentration but relaxation.  One simply relaxes into oneself.  The more you relax, the more you feel yourself open, vulnerable, the less you are rigid.  You are more flexible, and suddenly existence starts penetrating you.  You are no longer like a rock, you have openings.

Relaxation means allowing yourself to fall into a state where you are not doing anything, because if you are doings something, tension will continue.  Relax into yourself, just close your eyes, and listen to all that is happening all around.  No need to feel anything as a distraction. The moment you feel it is a distraction, you are denying God.

This moment God has come to you as a bird–don’t deny.  He has knocked at your door as a bird.  Then next moment God has come as a dog barking, or as a child crying.  Don’t deny; don’t react–accept.  Because if you deny, you will become tense.  All denials create tension–accept.  If you want to relax, acceptance is the way.  You may know it or you may not know it–everything is interrelated.  These birds, thee trees, this earth, you, me, all are related.

So don’t deny anything, because the moment you deny, you are denying something in you.  If you deny these singing birds then something in you is denied.

If you relax, you accept. Acceptance of existence is the only way to relax.  If small things disturb you then it is your attitude that is disturbing you.  Sit silently.  Listen to all that is happening all around, and relax.  Accept, relax, and suddenly you will feel immense energy arising in you.

And when I say watch, don’t try to watch.  Otherwise you will become tense again, and you will start concentrating.  Simply relax, remain relaxed, loose, and look…because what else can you do?  You are there, nothing to be done. Everything accepted, nothing to be denied, rejected.  No struggle, no fight, no conflict.  You simply watch.  Remember… simply watch.

So what to do?  The question is relevant.  Watch–don’t try to stop.  There is no need to do any action against the mind.  In the first place, who will do it?  It will be mind fighting mind itself. You will divide your mind into two; one that is trying to boss over, the top-dog, trying to kill the other part of itself–which is absurd.  It is a foolish game.  Don’t try to stop the mind or the thinking–just watch it, allow it.  Allow it total freedom.   Let it run as fast as it wants.  You don’t try in any way to control it.  You just be a witness. It is beautiful!

Mind is one of the most beautiful mechanisms.  Science has not yet been able to create anything parallel to mind.  Mind still remains the masterpiece–so complicated, so tremendously powerful, with so many potentialities.  Watch it!  Enjoy it!

And don’t watch like an enemy, because if you look at the mind like an enemy, you cannot watch.  You are already prejudiced; you are already against.  You have already decided that something is wrong with the mind–you have already concluded.  And whenever you look at somebody as an enemy you never look deep.  You never look into the eyes;  you avoid.

Watching the mind means: look at it with deep love, with deep respect, reverence–it is God’s gift to you!  Nothing is wrong in thinking itself.  It is a beautiful process as other processes are.  Clouds moving in the sky are beautiful–why not thoughts moving in the inner sky?  Flowers coming to the trees are beautiful–why not thoughts flowering in your being?  The river running to the ocean is beautiful–why not this stream of thoughts running somewhere to an unknown destiny?  Is it not beautiful?

Look with deep reverence.  Don’t be a fighter, be a lover.  Watch the subtle nuances of the mind; the sudden turns, the beautiful turns; the sudden jumps and leaps; the games that mind goes on playing; the dreams that it weaves–the imagination, the memory; the thousand and one projections that it creates.  Watch!  Standing there, not involved. By and by you will start feeling….

As your watchfulness becomes deeper, your awareness becomes deeper.  Gaps start arising, intervals.  One thought goes, another has not come; there is a gap.  One cloud has passed, another is coming; there is a gap.

In those gaps, for the first time, you will have glimpses of no-mind.  You will have the taste of no-mind.  Call it the taste of Zen, or Tao, or Yoga.  In those small intervals, suddenly the sky is clear and sun is shining.  Suddenly the world is full of mystery because all barriers are dropped.  The screen on your eyes is no longer there.  You see clearly, you see penetratingly; the whole existence becomes transparent.

In the beginning, these will be just rare moments, few and far in between.  But they will give you glimpses of what Samadhi is.  Small pools of silence–they will come and they will disappear.  But now you know that you are on the right track–you start watching again.